¿Por qué cruzó el pollo el camino?

I have studied more for my classes this week than i have in my entire college career so far. I think i might have finally learned how to study! It only took me a couple of years to do it... XD

My spanish class is proving to be especially hellacious :S. Sra. Marchand gives a ridiculous amount of homework and readings, but i think it is going to help a lot in the long run. She is really making us apply the Spanish we have already learned, which is refreshing. I was getting tired of the constant grammar exercises. It is, however, extremely difficult and makes me doubt my knowledge of the Spanish language, and whether or not i'm going to be able to accomplish my goal of being fluent. :( i hope i can do it.

So here is something odd...i used to use a lot of the Spanish i know (which isn't much) around people that were fluent, and i wasn't too self concious about my abilities. But i've noticed that as i learn more and more Spanish, my confidence in using the language around native speakers decreases drammatically. I now hardly ever use Spanish around anyone besides my roommates, and when i do i use very little. I get so embarrassed when i make a mistake around a native speaker and they correct me. They don't do it in a judgemental or haughty way (hispanic people usually aren't like that), but i am still mortified. I wonder why that is? Is it because i now know the errors i am making? That is really the only explanation i can come up with. *sigh* so annoying.

i just wish i was fluent already. sheesh.